Meeting C-PTSD

Introduction to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

CPTSD and Welcoming Embodiment.

Welcome to my manual for understanding Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and welcoming embodiment.

C-PTSD is a condition where the body develops unique biological responses due to Autonomic Nervous System dysfunction.

In the simplest sense our systems that balance our fast and slow response/repair states becomes imbalanced.

This is often likened to a cars brake and accelerator system. Only one system (go or slow) can be in control at every given time yet sometimes we can still move with our handbrakes cranked in a bid to outweigh the fast state.

The bodies safety system becomes overly sensitive to the outer environment and as a response the persons inner environment is “triggered” or hyper aroused tens if not hundreds of times a day.

When traumas or stressful situations are experienced over and over again this changes the functioning of the human on the most primal level. Similarly to PTSD these complex traumas are stored in fragmented memory loops in the body but with chronic trauma, the habitual and repeated patterns become conditioned reactions of the individual and the patterns of the nervous systems themselves become dysregulated. When this happens the primal mechanisms are rewired in such a way that emotions seem out of control and threats are perceived continuously by the survivor. While these may not be understood or even tangible in the form of lucid memory, the body holds on to the learnt patterns and muscular tension holds that in the past, ensured survival.

People living with Complex Trauma are often overwhelmed easily by emotional states and cannot explain their reactions to many environmental and sensory stimuli. This often leads to them feeling highly misunderstood by society.

It is critical to remember that those of us living with Complex Trauma are not failures. Not some broken or damaged member of society trying to stay afloat, we are misunderstood. Sadly the people that misunderstand us the most, are the ones in highly functional societal places and more often than not they are the very professionals whom are supposed to be caring for our wellbeing. Complex Trauma survivors are like leopards who’s spots grew differently to the regular leopard. Instead of the usual pattern the markings are more unique; they need special care and attention. The pattern is still there, still boundless and beautiful, but it is more “complex”. The C-PTSD being holds more detail in their coat of arms that need to be tended to and we need not hide in fear of being labelled as different. Instead we must understand our spots, and make sure the foundation holding them upon our person is a strong, gentle and nourishing foundation. Those of us living with C-PTSD are not any less worthy of a fulfilling and rewarding life.

People living with CPTSD feel different to how society implies a human should feel; not because we are broken, but because we are warriors. We feel different not because we don’t belong but because there is a disconnect from the core personality, a fundamental aspect of our being is misunderstood. And that aspect is what makes someone feel whole. People living with complex trauma live a life based on habits that were built for the survival, rather than the enjoyment of life.

What is C-PTSD?

A classification for a human being who’s nervous systems have developed differently to the "regular" person.
A condition describing a person who has undergone a moderate to high degree of trauma in childhood or who suffers/is suffering from abuse or unresolved trauma in adult life.
Highly traumatizing situations that force the person to repetitively face pain and suffering in early life has a heavy impact on the immature body. The body survives by adopting more primitive (as in, early on in mans evolution) processes of survival. What this means is often the neocortex (high brain) goes off line to keep us alive. It does - whatever it takes, to ensure survival. Sometimes this means the person can’t consolidate or deposit the memory properly into the memory centre of the brain. Meaning they may not even remember or understand the trauma was occurring especially during critical stages of childhood and early development.
It is the repetition of highly stressful situations, day in and day out that cause the biology of the body to change. What I mean is that the cellular structure of the human body changes, allocating more receptors to adrenaline and cortisol uptake and producing more of certain stress hormones in order to help us cope with the chronic degree of stress in the body. This is called adaptation and it is the base to our very evolution. The cellular structure of organisms are always changing to ensure survival of the fittest. As a person, we form a comprehensive whole. So when mass amounts of energy are spent to deal with a constant influx of trauma, the organism morphs its abilities to cope in this new environment.
Sometimes people living with C-PTSD do not know they have endured trauma either due to immature understanding, narcissistic bonding and/or gaslighting, which tricks the individual into not realizing the severity of trauma. It can also arise from secondary trauma meaning the individual doesn’t notice the abuse is extending from environmental sources and effecting their bodies on a day to day basis. For example, the act of witnessing parents fighting every single day, a child being silenced every single day, a child attending school and being bullied or experiencing discrimination regarding race, gender, class etc; these are all ways one may have developed a complex body, without the outward awareness of such.
When the abuse is prevalent it doesn’t have to be physically repeated everyday but enough to change the physical conditioning of the body. Depending on the degree of the abuse one may only need to experience a horrific act once to be deeply traumatized. A physical encounter of abuse such as watching a horrific scene unfold or being witness to sexual violation, life threatening behaviours or other horrific acts can disrupt loops in ones consciousness. This keeps the autonomic Nervous System in a constant loop of arousal, flooding the body and keeping it in a place where it repeats the initial episode of trauma. The terror that accompanies the abuse works to keep the memory circulating through consciousness meaning it is available to the survivors mind and attention is drawn there. It becomes like a movie on replay and the child cannot escape it. Day in and day out, the body receives rushes of cortisol and adrenaline as it relives the trauma and over time, the nervous system that usually regulates our emotions, becomes dysregulated.
The degree of this and the way the body responds are all written in our unique conditioning and patterns of survival. They are different for everyone and one should never compare their degree of trauma to another as it is immeasurable. What seems like a small trauma to one person may be a big, insurmountable and broken loop for another. Focusing on another person’s pains and traumas doesn’t heal our own, nor does it diminish our own. The only way we free ourselves of our incessant traumas are by first acknowledging their existence and then gently guiding them back to a place that is meaningful.
There is a simple test called an ACEs test that helps to screen an individual for childhood trauma, I will add it to this chapter. When taking this test it is important to note that even a score of a 1 indicates further screening should be undertaken. A four or higher indicates a high chance the individual has C-PTSD and all further treatment should be undertaken with this in mind. Please note it is NOT OK to just stop taking medication or undergoing current treatments without discussing this with your loved ones and medical professionals.
Diagnoses like Bipolar Personality Disorder and Split Personality are often misdiagnosed C-PTSD. Also one should never be given a diagnosis such as BPD, ADHD, OCD, or MPD without undergoing several childhood trauma, dissociation & complex trauma screens.

Indications you have C-PTSD

Persistent thoughts of self loathing. “I am not enough” “I always get it wrong” “I should do better”
Thoughts of self harm of wanting to hurt/disown the body
You demonstrate many alternating sides to the personality as you change to adapt to being in different situations and around different people
Feeling unsafe, even in your own home or work place
Often feeling like things will end in death or as if you’re not worthy of good occurring.
Indescribable and often chronic pain.
Disturbed sleep, insomnia, night terrors.
Chronic fatigue and the using of sleep to “get through” the days
Depression
Disordered eating patterns / eating disorder diagnoses
Hearing your parents or primary figures as your OWN self talk. Repeating things you were told over and over in childhood or that you heard your caregivers say.
The inability to regulate emotions. This means you experience highs and lows. They can last from moments to days to weeks and present on varying degrees of manic to depressive emotions. Essentially you don’t know what has triggered you mentally, but your body is triggered into a state of shutdown.
Feelings of shame, guilt and self blame.
Anxiety and bodily sensations that may seem confusing
Narcissistic bonding; the inability to free yourself from knowingly or unknowingly toxic relationships
A “Disconnect" or feeling of disembodiment.
Hearing voices that seem distant. These are common and confusing for the individual but are usually chronically conditioned loops of language passed down from the abuser.
Thoughts of not understanding the personality, not feeling as though one even has a personality.